your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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