Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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