That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Randomize
