Pappa wants mamma naked
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
they call him Oral-B. enough said
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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