I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
