Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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