Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
