Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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