Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize