Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize
