oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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