Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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