I am puke
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
