Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
