At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
