It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
