He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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