So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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