My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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