yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
