Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
