apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
