I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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