So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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