tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
