I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
