I'm gonna have a badass scar
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
My life is pants optional.
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