shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
