What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
