i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
