I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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