well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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