Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
