I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
