I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
