It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
