i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
