Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
