lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
