you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize