Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
