just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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