Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
