loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Randomize
