Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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