I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
