Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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