turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
