I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
