Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
This is my gift to your gina
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
