i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
