those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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