The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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