I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
