i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
