super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
