Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
