Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
