is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
home. puking in laundry basket.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
