It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
We left the knife in your bed.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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