I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
