if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
